26 – Searching for Answers – Feelings, Promises and Commitments

Joe had picked himself up off the ground and was sitting on his lounge chair next to Sarah. After a couple of amusing comments were exchanged neither said another word to the other for what seemed like hours but was in reality only minutes. Both Sarah and Joe were deep in thought about what just happened. Sarah’s mind was bouncing back and forth thinking about how wild it was for them to have a dream that was very close to the same dream – at the same time – and while they were together. Things like this don’t just happen she continued to contemplate. Joe’s mind was screaming out – not another dream. I though these were behind me. Maybe it was not a bad dream like before. This dream was with Sarah right from the start. What is it about Sarah anyway? Why does she have such an effect on me? I know I’m falling in love with her but it’s more than that. She was the calm one. She is always the calm one

Joe looked over at Sarah with a smile on his face which jolted Sarah out of her thoughts. What are you smiling about Sarah questioned as she returned the smile with one that generally would melt Joe heart into mush. I was just wondering when I will comprehend what you have that is so special. I don’t think I know what you mean, Sarah responded with a puzzled look on her face. I mean you are always calm about everything. You’re always fun to be around and people always seem to accept you. You have a personality that lets people into your life and you have yourself so together in your thoughts and beliefs. Your confidence in God and your faith is rock solid. Well, you’re what some people would call the real deal and I love you and I want what you have and I am not sure how to get it. Well Joe, first of all you know I love you too. You are not just a friend but you are a very special person that I… Sarah stopped short of finishing her sentence as she could feel the emotions building and she told herself she would not give into them until the time was right and this was not the time. Joe looked at her knowing the feelings Sarah was feeling because he had the same. Somehow words were being said without any being spoken. Joe sat quietly thinking to himself how much he wanted to be with Sarah for the rest of his life when Sarah interrupted his thoughts when she slid over next to him and took his hand in hers, gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and then laid her head on his shoulder. You know Joe; you are new at being a believer in God. You have so much to explore just like I do. But you are way ahead of me Sarah. Not as far as you think Joe. But you are the one who helped me figure this out. You have been there for me even when I was a little crazy with the dreams. You had such a solid foundation in what you believe even when I challenged you with information that kept me believing that you were a little crazy to believe in God. How do you do that? I am not sure I can handle the same things if someone was to challenge me. You mean someone like Tom, Sarah quickly responded. Well maybe. I really wasn’t just thinking about Tom, but he is one that would probably ask the hard questions. But Joe, you have figured it out so help Tom figure it out if that ever happens, responded Sarah as she continued to think about things other than just Tom. Sarah added, that is what it is all about. I love God more than anything. I know what Jesus did for me and I can’t wait to see him someday in Heaven. Whenever that happens, it will be the greatest day on my life. But I am here now and the issue I am struggling with is that my feelings for you are growing and I can’t give into my emotions until things are right. Well I have the same feelings for you but I am not sure I am totally following you. When you say things are right are you talking about sex or something like that? Well maybe a little I guess Sarah admitted. I promised myself and God that I would save myself for the right person, the one I would marry someday. And so far I have. I want you to know it is really important for me to wait until the time is right. So see Joe, I have my struggles to deal with also. Joe sat quiet for a while thinking about what Sarah had just told him when he finally laid his head on hers that was still resting on his shoulder. Sarah, you know what. I agree with you and I will never pressure you into anything. And just so you know, I have never been with anyone either. Sarah began to smile as a tear tricked down her cheek. Picking her head up she looked Joe in the eye and she could tell he was have a bit of a time with the emotions as well and said; you know this is going to be hard for both of us. Yes it is Sarah. But I love you and I will wait. So if I get a little out of hand, just give me some signal that we need to stop. Don’t think you are the only one Joe. You have to help me too. Sarah and Joe looked at each other as both had a couple of tears sliding down their cheeks and made a pledge to each other that they would wait, and that if someday they were to get marred that would be the time they would truly share what they both felt about each other.

Joe leaned his head back on the lounge chair and after a few minutes had passed Sarah lessened the intensity of the conversation when she asked Joe; you were going to ask me something else when I got us off track a little. Yes, but I am feeling really good about our talk… well you know what I mean. I am too Joe. It is something that we needed to talk about before it was too late and I am really glad we can talk about these things. But let’s get back to your original question. Well, I guess I would like to know how you have been able to wrap your arms around everything in the Bible and God and Jesus and this part about the Holy Spirit. It is all a little strange to me and I am not sure how it all works. I just know that I believe in God and I know I have personally accepted Jesus and I feel different. I knew it when it happened. I want to know more. I want to have what you have. You already have what I have Joe. The rest will come as you start to study the Bible and talk to others that can help you. In my eyes you have figured out a very important part. Through your research you have concluded that this world we see and live in couldn’t have just happened without some help. The deeper you dug into it you decided that it must have been God that created everything. If God created everything then the Bible most definitely can be true also. If God was the inspiration to the writers that wrote it, if it is His way of communicating with us, then He has things to tell us that are in the Bible, and what’s in it is important to read and understand. The more you study and dig into it, the more it will all make sense. Pastor Dan is great to talk too. Every time I have some question bothering me, I just ask him his opinion or if he could explain it to me. That’s a good idea Sarah. Maybe we can go a little early tonight and I will see if he can find a time we could get together. You know Joe; you should talk to him about these dreams. I have been thinking about all them and I am not sure why you have had them or why anyone has them. Sometimes I believe God is trying to tell us something that we just don’t realize on our own. I never thought about it that way, Joe replied after giving Sarah’s comment some thought. Maybe you are right. Wow, that would be a big one to drop on Pastor Dan. I wonder what he would think about that. Probably that I was a little crazy! No he wouldn’t Joe. He already knows you’re a little crazy if you’re with me! Both Sarah’s and Joe started to laugh when Sarah’s mom walked out the back door.

I think I better get going. What time should I pick you up tonight? Well it starts at 7:00, so maybe 6:30. Pastor Dan should already be there so you could ask him then. Joe got up and reached out for Sarah’s hand helping her up out of her chair. The momentum pulled her close and as they looked at each other their lips came together as they held each other close. Sarah’s mom tried to act like she was a fly on the wall but could see that they had become more than just really good friends. Joe slowly released his embrace on Sarah and they both turned and headed towards the gate leading to the front yard and Joe’s car. After a quick goodbye kiss, Joe slid into his car, fired it up and was on his way back to his place.

Joe’s mind was cruising faster than his car and before he knew it he was sitting in his favorite chair with a fresh IPA in his hand wondering how he got home so quick. He leaned back allowing the events of the afternoon to sink in. Meanwhile Sarah was sitting in her room feeling a bit of relief that she and Joe had been able to be open with each other especially the promise she made herself and God about sex after marriage. She looked over at the window where the sun was trickling through the wooden blinds and the breeze was making the curtains move gently back and forth and said; God, if Joe is the guy you have picked out for me, I pray you will be with both of us. Thanks for giving me the courage to talk about it. Please help both of us to keep our commitment and fight any urges when they happen. I sure hope Joe is the one God. You know how I feel about him. I am not sure why he walked into our church that Sunday morning or how I managed to run into him the next day on the street. If you were the one, thank you. I sure like him a lot and… Sarah leaned back on her pillow and closed her eyes embracing the feelings she was having as a warm sensation came over her and a smile radiated from her face as she drifted off in thought.

“To be continued”

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